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reciaramella

Rachael Ciaramella Tattoo enthusiast. Makeup addicted. Animal lover. Disney fanatic. Artist. Check my highlights for awesome discounts! http://thegreatnorth.refr.cc/reciaramella
237 posts
913 followers
1,256 following

Feeling physically c****y today so here i am looking off into the distance remembering what it felt like to feel good πŸ˜‚

a friend of mine posted about his mental health journey yesterday; he told me a big part of his decision to do so was due to my posts lately about my own story. though i post these little entries for no one but myself, knowing i helped him give him the courage to be open about his struggle helps encourage me to keep going. it means so much to me that these have helped him. i love being open about my battles but it is important to remind myself, and hopefully others, that i am not my illness. it doesn't define who i am and it is not a label or title that i live under. i am not my depression, it is just a part of my journey.
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#selflove #selfcare #loveyourself #bodypositive #happiness #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #recovery #invisibleillness #influencer #brandambassador #brand #ambassador #photooftheday #picoftheday #igers #empoweringwomen #bekind #tattoos #ink #fashion #clothes #instagramers #instadaily #makeup #makeupartist #love

11 hours ago comment 13 star 104

You matter. whether you believe it or not, you matter. you're worthy of love and everything this life has to offer. always remember that. i'm still learning to accept this and it's a daily struggle but now, thanks to my amazing love, i'll always have a daily reminder.
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necklace from @metalmarvels
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Yesterday comment 21 star 106

"we are each gifted in a unique and important way. it is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light." i spent valentine's day alone because my boyfriend was working and honestly, it was so good for me. i spent the night doing my makeup, drinking wine, cuddling my animals, and being thankful for everyone in my life. my parents, my friends, my boyfriend, they all mean so much to me and help me in so many different ways that i don't think they'll ever fully comprehend what they mean to me. i love them all so much but i think the person i was most thankful for and celebrating the most last night was myself. i am unique and important and bring something to the world that no one else can because i am my own person with my own gifts to give.
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#selflove #selfcare #loveyourself #bodypositive #bodypositivity #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #recovery #invisibleillness #influencer #brandambassador #brand #ambassador #photooftheday #picoftheday #igers #empoweringwomen #bekind #makeup #mua #makeupartist #hearts #valentinesday #valentines #quotes #unique #instadaily #sugarbooandco @sugarbooandco

2 days ago comment 17 star 101

Happy valentine's day to everyone! whether you're single, taken or in a relationship with wine, like i usually am, i hope you have a great day! love is so important and one of the greatest feelings someone can experience. romantic, platonic, familial, every version of love that can be expressed is powerful and moving. i'm often taken aback by how much love i receive from the people in my life, and though sometimes my depression tells me i'm not worthy of it, it still overwhelms me in the best and most comforting way. but even as great as all those expressions of love can be, the most important by far is the love i have for myself.
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3 days ago comment 23 star 136

No one really talks about the days that leave you crippled. the days where you cancel plans or ignore everyone's texts because you barely have the energy to exist. the days where talking seems like it takes too much effort and interacting with anyone seems like it may k**l you.

some weeks i have more bad days than good. somestimes i can go weeks without a bad day. a lot of the times bad days can be situational, caused by work or receiving bad news. this is accurate for me right now and i have to remember that these feelings are situational and will fade with time. though my depression may never go away, some situations that trigger my episodes are not permanent. but even temporary they still destroy me on certain days and make it incredibly hard to live my life and interact with anyone other than my animals. and some days it's okay to do just that and take time for yourself where you turn your phone off, read a book, take a bath, any self care method that works for you and can help you feel more at peace. those days are just as meaningful and important to your health as the days where you're smiling and laughing with friends.

4 days ago comment 17 star 136

Anger is a dangerous emotion that often accompanies my feelings of depression; an anger that is directed towards no one but myself. when i'm deep into a depressive episode i sometimes get mad at myself for being this way. "why can't my s****d brain just figure itself out, why am i like this? why do i want to hurt myself and why do i want to die when so many people have it worse than me? i should be so thankful for everything i have, i'm an idiot for feeling this way." i get angry at my depression for making me feel as if i'm worthless but that only makes me feel more unworthy of life. it's a vicious circle.

when i started to learn to accept my depression as an illness and not something i was choosing to feel or experience is when i started to feel less angry at myself. depression doesn't discriminate and it truly is an illness. chemical imbalances telling me i don't deserve to live. not many people understand this. i didn't wake up one day and decide that i was going to be depressed; i didn't even wake up one day with depression, it was a slow fall that ultimately ended with me in the er but it isn't something that happened immediately. i do not choose to suffer from depression because it is not a choice.

5 days ago comment 16 star 82

A regular selfie today brought to you by exhaustion and no motivation to get anything done. i was traveling last night so i didn't sleep much and then had to go into work two hours after i got home; today the struggle is very real.

exhaustion tends to bring on some depressive thoughts and it's hard to find the motivation or the energy to fight them off. it often times is so much easier to just give in and let the depression wash over you, some days i lose the fight and can't shake off the thoughts. i can't win every battle, i know this now and have accepted it. i can fight as hard as i can but there are days i just can't win. and that's okay. people think that once you've gotten help and you're on the road to recovery that you should be having great days every day but that's not how it works. just because you've taken the steps to get help and have continued to fight does not mean every day is going to be a victory. it's okay to remember that we're human and we're going to have bad days where we give in to the lies that depression whispers to us; the important part is that the next day you dust yourself off and fight another battle.
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necklace from @xoxo5thavenue
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6 days ago comment 18 star 120

Sometimes i get insecure for no reason. nothing happens or brings it on, no one causes it. i just get in this mind set where i start questioning everything about who i am.

depression whispers in my ear asking why my boyfriend would love me or why my friends keep me around. i couldn't possibly be worthy of their love, right?
wrong. i know i'm worthy. i completely know that i'm worthy of love but depression is this relentless beast that tells you every day that you're not. it breaks down your confidence until you're questioning why anyone would want you here. on these days i'm so lucky that i have patient people in my life that reassure me and talk me through my insecurities.
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#selflove #selfcare #me #beyourself #acceptance #life #bodypositivity #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #recovery #invisibleillness #chooselove #influencer #brandambassador #happiness #ambassador #photooftheday #picoftheday #igers #empoweringwomen #bekind #love #hope #loveyourself #inked #tattoos #girlswithink #inkedgirls

1 weeks ago comment 26 star 145

Is there something you've seen before that was so outstandingly beautiful that it made you thankful to be alive?

it's a thought that often helps keeps me going. whether it be a sunrise, flowers, a rainbow, or even something as small as a butterfly landing on my finger, stopping to notice the beauty that surrounds us is so important. it helps remind me that even on my darkest days, beauty exists even in the most fleeting of moments. there's beauty in the way the rain falls across a window, in a bird taking flight, in the smell of fresh cut grass or the way light dances and shines on wet pavement. stopping and noticing these small miracles and moments of beauty help me stay strong and keep fighting.
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2 weeks ago comment 9 star 79

I think people often assume self love is this selfish conceited concept that narcissists use to shamelessly post a million pictures of themselves. maybe it is for some but i don't speak for them. i don't speak for anyone except me. i don't speak for others who suffer from depression or any other invisible illness, these words are only my thoughts written out.

i hated myself for such a long time. so long i couldn't even tell you when the self loathing started; all i know is that it begin and didn't slow down until it was almost too late. i hated myself so much that i was convinced the world would be better off if i wasn't in it; without the realization that i needed to learn to love myself i wouldn't be here. i didn't think i deserved to be here and sometimes it's still hard. i have taken such big leaps in accepting who i am that i am lightyears away from where i use to be yet i am still nowhere near where i want to be.

every day is a d**n battle and though i have scars and my armor is damaged i will continue to pick up my sword and fight until i can confidently say without a second of hesitation that i love myself and i deserve everything this life has to offer.

2 weeks ago comment 17 star 141

Why does being unapologetically yourself p**s people off so much? social media is this weird place where if you aren't living the life the public thinks you should be then you're deemed irrelevant, and if you are living your best life, posting whatever you want when you want then people just think you're being fake or doing it for the followers.

it's also a place where you can connect with people who live states, countries, continents away and create bonds that you otherwise never would have met; a place to inspire strangers that might need an encouraging word to keep going, even a place to connect with that special someone you've had a crush on and finally got the courage to dm.

why are we afraid to just let people live their lives whatever way they want to?
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#selflove #selfcare #loveyourself #beyourself #empoweringwomen #bodypositivity #inspire #hope #love #happiness #chooselove #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #recovery #invisibleillness #influencer #brandambassador #brand #ambassador #photooftheday #picoftheday #igers

2 weeks ago comment 14 star 136

"pain is the cost of living. like love, it's how we know we're alive." a quote from a tv show about vampires πŸ™„ but words that have stuck with me the last few years. i think it rings true. though my depression can knock me down for days on end and make me feel worthless, i have to remind myself that not every day is going to be filled with love and laughter; not everyone is going to support you or build you up or even like you. it's just part of the adventure; we learn from it, grow from it, become better versions of ourselves because of it. it doesn't make me any less worthy of living because i carry a darkness with me. every emotion i feel is powerful and valid and reminds me why i'm here and why i'm still fighting.
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#selflove #selfcare #loveyourself #bodypositive #bodypositivity #mentalillness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #recovery #invisibleillness #pain #love #hope #happiness #influencer #brandambassador #brand #ambassador #photooftheday #picoftheday #igers #empoweringwomen #bekind #sugarboo #sugarbooandco #quotes #inspire #sugarbooathome

2 weeks ago comment 14 star 97